A post I saw on Facebook:
“Who the hell names hurricanes and why do they give them the least threatening names? If you see on the news that hurricane Erin is blowing through, you’re like ‘Pfft. Erin? I can take that slut’. But if it’s like hurricane Dicksmasher is coming, you pack up and leave.”
me: i want to go to England
me: i want to go to Paris
me: i want to go to Australia
me: i want to go everywhere
money: lol no
time: lol no
world: lol no
Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm...
laughingstation: via laughingstation! | laugh-addict
teapayne: take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
Tyrone finally got his shit together.
stultifyandstupefy: derpes: And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.” And Abraham replied, “What.” God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
st3phascope: master-dik: i don’t know how to survive school anymore ever since ned’s declassified was canceled it’s been hard
if i had a voice like morgan freeman i would just walk around the streets following people and pretend to narrate their lives
rumour: too ugly to date attractive people too attractive to date ugly people
crystalindulgence: i pretend i dont care but deep down i really still dont care
damnthatswhatshesaid: OMUGAWD! LAWD! JEEZUZ! LMFAO THATS ME. I’M DYINGGGG!!! My fucking gosh!!!! LMFAO!!!! Bootleg fucking fireworks!!! lmao These muufuckas here lmfaoooooo. I AM SCREAMING OMFG ncejazokjcdiskandjs xD DEATHHHHH LMAO!!